What’s Causing the Egg Harbor Township Dollar General “A” to Fall Down?
While driving around Egg Harbor Township the other evening, I noticed the Dollar General store's "A" was in pretty bad shape.
(I'm sorry - with so many Dollar General stores in EHT, I need to be more specific -- the one on the Black Horse Pike by the old Cardiff Circle.)
Now, any sane, normal person would say that it's likely a truck or something hit their sign, which dislodged the "A" and damaged the "L" -- and that would be a perfectly normal assumption to make -- but I decided to completely overthink the situation and with my conspiracy theory hat firmly on, I came-up with some unlikely (very) yet plausible (not really) ideas...
And, yes, I am totally aware that I am likely the only person on the planet that A. (no pun intended) notices insignificant things like this and B. cares about insignificant things like this.
Oh, and in case you are wondering, I am quite a fan of the Original Egg Harbor Township Area Happenings 08234 Facebook group, which is the inspiration behind many of these theories, based on many of the posts that are made on that page.
1. Employees of one of area's many mattress stores.
In the battle over which type of business will have the most stores in EHT -- dollar stores or mattress stores -- it's likely (highly unlikely) that a mattress store employee is trying to start a turf war (remember the old mattress commercials that said to leave the last "S" off for savings? Dollar General doesn't have an "S" so they went after the "A").
Cat Country 107.3 morning guy Joe Kelly (pictured) has spent a great deal of time tracking down Bigfoot (not pictured) following some claims that the hairy beast (Bigfoot, not Joe Kelly) has been spotted in South Jersey. While unlikely, perhaps Bigfoot tried knocking the "A" down and did not succeed.
3. The last unexplained loud noise you heard in your neighborhood.
That last loud noise that was so loud it made you run to Facebook to ask what that loud noise was instead of looking out of your window was so loud that it shook the "A" from the storefront.
4. The fighter jets from the airport.
Much like the unexplained loud noise, those loud fighter jets that run out of Atlantic City International Airport may have also contributed to the dislodged "A."
5. The giant crab.
Remember the giant inflatable crab that used to sit on top of the old East Bay Crab & Grille? Uh-huh......... haven't seen it in a while, have you? Maybe it's hiding after committing this heinous crime against those looking for bargain cheese-doodles.
So, those are my theories. And in the event that you haven't figured out that I'm not being serious in any way, shape, or form, I'm not being serious in any way, shape, or form. :-)