You may have heard me say in the past that I subscribe to the on line edition of the Asbury Park Press so I can keep up with obituaries which I’m sure some find a bit strange but as you get older the truth is you know more people who die.

Obits are obviously sad in nature but every once in a while you come across one that puts a smile on your face which is what I am doing today. Several years ago I came across the obituary of a 67-year old man from Maine which was written by his daughter and titled, “Irishman Dies from Stubbornness and Whiskey.”  For the sake of time this is a somewhat edited version:

Chris Connors died at age 67 after trying to box his bikini-clad hospice nurse just moments earlier.  Ladies man, game slayer and outlaw Connors told his last inappropriate joke on December 9.  Anyone else fighting ALS and stage 4 pancreatic cancer would have gone quietly into the night, but Connors was stark naked drinking champagne in a house full of friends and family as Al Green played from the speakers.  As much as people knew hanging out with him would end in a night in jail or a killer screwdriver hangover, he was the type of man that people would drive 16 hours at the drop of a dime to come see.  He was a rare combination of someone who had a love of life and a firm understanding of what was important-the simplicity of living a life with those you love.

Chris enjoyed cross-dressing, a well-made fire and mashed potatoes with lots of butter.  His regrets were few, but include eating a rotisserie hot dog from an unmemorable convenience store in the summer of 1986. Absolut vodka and Simply Orange companies are devastated by the loss of Connors.  A “Celebration of Life” will be held during Happy Hour at York Harbor Inn on Monday, December 19.  In lieu of flowers please pay open bar tab or donate to his water safety fund.

Man would I have loved to been there for that!

READ ON: See the States Where People Live the Longest

Stacker used data from the 2020 County Health Rankings to rank every state's average life expectancy from lowest to highest. The 2020 County Health Rankings values were calculated using mortality counts from the 2016-2018 National Center for Health Statistics. The U.S. Census 2019 American Community Survey and America's Health Rankings Senior Report 2019 data were also used to provide demographics on the senior population of each state and the state's rank on senior health care, respectively.

Read on to learn the average life expectancy in each state.