Bad news: Study shows NJ is the least prepared state for zombies

Look, you’re not going to like this. I didn’t either. As someone whose favorite horror film is “Night of the Living Dead” I know a thing or two about zombies, OK? So when bodies come back to life and claw out of graves, I know you need to be skilled at MacGyvering a situation like busting up a dining room table and using the wood to board up windows or doors.

Those table legs? You wrap a towel around one end, and it makes a handy torch. Those zombies don’t like fire. These things are important.

But they weren’t even considered when CanadaCasino did a ranking of all 50 states as to which ones would best be prepared for surviving a zombie apocalypse.

They looked at population density and percentage of water area, and also number of airports, hospitals, hunting stores, and military bases per 100,000 people. What, nothing about chopping off dead fingers with a piece of wood when the zombie reaches through the window in a jump-scare? Come on!

So, according to these metrics, the states that would fare best are Alaska, Maine, and South Dakota. Alaska has a population of only 1 per square mile and 78 airports per 100,000 people. Third place, Maine boasts 70 hunting stores per 100,000 people.

So how bad was Jersey?

Dead last. As in reanimated dead. And they’re coming for our brains. Apparently, we don’t stand a chance.

From the report:

“If a zombie apocalypse were to strike, New Jersey would be the worst place to ride it out. With the highest population density in the U.S. (1,308 people per square mile), controlling outbreaks would be nearly impossible. The state scores 1.66 out of 10 overall, with limited survival resources, including just 0.9 airports, 2.2 hunting stores, and 0.8 hospitals per 100,000 people.”

I guess the undead don’t care about property taxes because maybe that would make them leave if they did.

See More: What To Expect For The 2025 Asbury Zombie Walk

Who is almost as bad off as we are?

Connecticut is also doomed in 2nd place for worst, and Pennsylvania is tied with Massachusetts at 3rd.

If all this zombie talk got you in the mood for more, check out these creepy pics below from a past Zombie Walk in Asbury Park!