When you’re over 40, anything you say against technology is going to get you dismissively called a Boomer, even if you’re a Gen-Xer.

I miss beach tags. There, I said it.

No, I don’t love being financially taken advantage of by Jersey shore towns and yes other states manage to maintain beautiful beaches without charging people to step on nature’s creation. Also yes, in the past Jersey Shore towns have been accused of violating the rules on how they used beach fee revenue.

So no, I don’t like paying to go on a beach. It’s just that if we must pay, can we keep it simple? At the risk of being called Abner and asked if I’m Amish can’t we just pay cash at a little booth on a boardwalk and have some 17-year-old slide us a badge with a pin in it? You pin it onto your bathing suit or your bag and that’s that.

Barnegat Light beach badges
Photo uploaded by Reddit user aqua_vit
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More and more that’s happening less and less.

Last month I went to Seaside Heights where for years I would park by shoving quarters into a meter then I would get on the beach as described above. Simple. Last month I found a parking spot and then it became a tutorial. You had to look for the number stall you parked in. You had to download their mobile payment app to your smartphone. Etcetera etcetera.  You don’t even get the tactile satisfaction of having a machine spit out a ticket for you to place on your dashboard to ward off the parking cops. Don’t laugh Gen Z! It makes you feel less likely to have their app go sideways and receive a ticket anyway!

So then I got up to the little wooden booth I was so historically familiar with. Except there was no one in it. It was the middle of the day. I was supposed to have a beach badge. (Or so I assumed) But the booth was empty. The windows closed tight. Now his was my third beach town in as many days so it’s all blending together in a blur. But I remember looking for a sign and I don’t recall there being any, so no clear instructions.

Beach badge booth in Seaside Heights
Beach badge booth in Seaside Heights (Dino Flammia, Townsquare Media NJ)
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Then I recall looking around for some machinery, some kiosk, something that would greedily take in my debit card. Couldn’t see one of those either. I walked the boardwalk. I looked for an information booth. Nothing.

I knew the day before I had gone to another Jersey shore town and I had to download yet another app (at least that’s how I remember it?) and put in credit card information and have a QR code saved to my phone just to step foot on their precious, sandy fiefdom. So that’s the sort of thing I was assuming I needed here.

Then I just said screw it and headed down the beach figuring the badge checker could explain the process. But when I hit the sand there was no badge checker. I wouldn’t find out until days later that the reason for this was Seaside Heights apparently doesn’t charge to walk on the beach on Wednesdays or Thursdays.

Looks like after two other days in two other towns of dealing with credit cards on websites, and entering debit card info into downloaded apps, and gathering QR codes I was suddenly overthinking it. But I didn’t know.

Bradley Beach
Bradley Beach (Bud McCormick)
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Cape May is introducing digital payments for digital beach tags now. You have to go on their website and choose your type of pass, your date, your quantity, make your payment, then click ‘view receipt’ and leave the receipt open on your screen to show a badge checker. Then they say to keep your QR code in an open tab on your browser throughout your time on the beach in case a strolling badge checker wants to spot-check you.

Really?

How about I give you ten bucks, and you give me a badge? It’s bad enough you’re charging me to walk on sand. Now I need app downloads and websites and credit cards and QR codes?

Alright. Rant over. I’ll go churn some butter now.

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Gallery Credit: Mike Brant

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Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

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