A holiday music survey says your pet hates these songs – and Jersey folks have questions

It feels like we’re living in the golden age of surveys. Every single day, a new one pops up telling us what we should eat, watch, avoid, or apparently… play for our pets. With so many content creators competing for attention, fresh material has become a daily requirement, and surveys have become the gift that keeps on giving. And honestly? We love them. We love reading them, debating them, and writing about them — including this one.

That said, this particular survey might be one of the more questionable ones we’ve seen.

A holiday music survey claims some songs stress out your pets

TrustedHousesitters recently analyzed the Billboard Holiday 100 list alongside each song’s beats per minute (BPM) to determine which holiday tunes are best — and worst — for your pet’s ears. According to their findings, faster, more upbeat songs can overstimulate pets and increase anxiety, while slower melodies are supposedly more calming.

In theory, that sounds reasonable. In practice? I have questions.

Do pets even care about Christmas music?

For starters, I’ve never seen a pet respond to music in any meaningful way. Are pets even musically aware? Do they understand tempo, rhythm, or the emotional weight of a Vince Guaraldi piano riff versus Mariah Carey hitting a high note? I’m not convinced. My cat has slept through vacuum cleaners, fire alarms, and loud football games — but suddenly “Frosty the Snowman” is too much?

The ‘worst’ holiday songs for pets, according to BPM

Still, keeping an open mind, TrustedHousesitters crunched the numbers and ranked the worst holiday songs for pets based on BPM. At the top of the anxiety-inducing list is “Mele Kalikimaka” by Bing Crosby & The Andrews Sisters, clocking in at a blazing 203 BPM. Close behind are holiday staples like “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams and “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande. Apparently, the brass, high-pitched vocals, and faster tempos could send your furry friends into a state of festive distress.

The best Christmas songs for calmer, happier pets

On the flip side, the survey also crowned the best holiday songs for pets. Topping the list is “Carol of the Bells” by John Williams from Home Alone, with a soothing 47 BPM. Other pet-approved classics include “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” and “Jingle Bell Rock” by Brenda Lee, both slower and smoother than their modern, pop-heavy counterparts.

The idea is simple: slower music equals calmer pets. Faster music equals alert, anxious animals. While humans can happily blast upbeat holiday hits without issue, pets, according to this survey, prefer a more laid-back soundtrack.

So where do I land on all this? Skeptical — but curious. As we’ll likely be listening to Christmas music non-stop for the next week, I’ll be conducting my own very unscientific experiment. I’ll keep an eye on my cat, Cark, to see if he reacts differently to Bing Crosby versus John Williams.

Will he nap harder? Will he flee the room? Or will he, like most pets, not care at all?

I’ll get back to you.