How Men And Women Are Different

The inspiration for today’s segment, which is not an original, was a conversation I had with my boss the other day.  He had just purchased a really nice outdoor vest and as he was showing it to me said that he never really buys anything for himself. I responded that the difference between men and women is we buy what we need while a woman will purchase items she does not need but will justify it by saying it was on sale.

So that leads me to an oldie but a goodie…the fundamental differences between the two sexes:

BATHROOMS-A man has six items; toothbrush & toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, soap and a towel.  The average number of items a woman has in the bathroom is 275 and a man would not be able to identify most of them.

ARGUMENTS-A woman has the last word.  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

EATING OUT-When the bill arrives Kevin, Jim, Joe & Ed will each throw in a $20 even if the total bill is only $50 and none will ask for change back.  When Jane, Dawn, Abby & Darlene get their bill they pull out calculators.

FUTURE-A woman worries about it until she gets a husband.  A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS-A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend.  A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE-A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.  A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change but she does.

CHILDREN-A woman knows all about hers…dentist appointments, best friends, romances, favorite foods, secret fears, hopes and dreams.  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

CLEARLY WE ARE DIFFERENT!