When Football Traditions Meet Real Life

I felt we needed a little levity today in light of recent developments so I’m lifting this from the current issue of Men’s Health in which ESPN’S Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic offered their thoughts on football traditions we need in real life.

I’ve edited a bit for the purpose of this segment and to save time:

Vendors-    There ought to be a guy who every now and then walks by carrying a tray of beers and offering you one. Peanuts and hot dogs too!  Of course at morning meetings, croissants or muffins.

Instant Replay- We need a chance to review important moments in our lives and defend ourselves.  So you’d get to challenge someone on what they said and prove them wrong.

Uniform Inspectors- They should police people’s wardrobes as carefully as the NFL polices uniforms.  You show up with your shirt untucked or you have a stain, you get fined.  Wardrobe and presentation are the most important things in life.

Protective Gear- Every day, everywhere we go, we should wear a helmet, shoulder pads and most important, a cup.  Better safe than sorry.

Cheerleaders- We should throughout our lives, have people standing by watching what we do with significant acts celebrated by a large group.

Timeouts- If you have to make a big decision and make it fast wouldn’t it be nice to call and timeout and talk on your headset with consultants up in the booth?

Work Schedule- Like NFL players we would like to only work 16 days a year.  You get paid millions of dollars and your entire job involves working 16 days.  But imagine how hard you would be willing to work. How much energy you’d put into those 16 days.  Of course you would need a bye week.