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Spring Classes for Men

I’m a big believer that one of the things we don’t do well is accept the fact that men and women are different and that there is nothing wrong with that. 

empty toilet paper roll
(Dan Alexander, Townsquare Media NJ)

I’m not talking about equal rights, but rather the way we sometimes think and act. So many people want to make the two sexes the same, when in truth we were meant to be different.

Listen, I’m not supposed to understand why women need 40 pairs of shoes just like they might have trouble understanding that even though we’re in our 50s men sometimes revert back to juvenile behavior.  It sometimes bothers me that we can’t embrace our differences as “it’s just the way it is” and instead have to endure those who want us to be the same.

I’ve talked about this with female friends and co-workers and some believe it’s just a crutch I and other men use to offer excuses for our lack of …well just about everything.  Not too long ago I received an email from someone that was titled “Spring Classes for Men at the Adult Training Center.”

Of course at first I thought it was serious but then I read the class titles and descriptions:

  1. How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays: step-by-step with full slide presentation.
  2. The Toilet Paper Roll: does it change itself?
  3. Is it Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor, Walls and nearby Bathtub?
  4. Dinner Dishes: Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink?
  5. Loss of Identity: Losing the remote to your significant other.
  6. Learning How to Find Things Starting with Looking In the Right Places and Not Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming.
  7. Health Watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
  8. Real Men Ask for Directions whenl lost with real life testimonials.
  9. Is it genetically possible to sit quietly while she parallel parks?
  10. How to be the ideal shopping companion with relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
  11. How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy: remembering birthdays, anniversaries and other important dates and calling when you’re going to be late.
  12. The Stove/Oven: what it is and how it’s used.

There was also a note at the bottom of the page.  Due to the complexity and difficulty level of the classes, they are limited to a maximum of  eight male participants.

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