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Ponderisms That Are Interesting & True

This morning has not started very well.  I had a slight headache when I came in which has gotten worse due to some technical problems which I’m not handling well. 

So in what will likely be a failed effort to make me laugh but might bring a smile to your face I offer a segment from a couple of years ago.  It’s titled….”Ponderisms that are interesting and true.”

Broken I-phone
Broken I-phone (Dan Alexander, Townsquare Media NJ)
  1. If people from Poland are called “Poles” why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes?”
  2. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 on little bottles of Evian water?  Well spell Evian backwards and you get NAÏVE.
  3. If a pig loses its voice is it disgruntled?
  4. Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?
  5. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
  6. If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed Up?
  7. If you work for Lipton Tea can you still take a coffee break?
  8. What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?
  9. Why do they put pictures of criminals in the Post Office?  What are we supposed to do, write to them?  Why don’t they just put the pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
  10. Did you ever notice that you really don’t begin to swear until you learn to drive?
  11. Did you ever notice when you put “the” and “IRS” together it spells THEIRS?
  12. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean one actually enjoys it?
  13. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
  14. Do you think more and more people read the Bible as they get older because it’s like cramming for a final exam?

I’m going to take so more aspirin.

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